A Killing Love
by C-is-for-Crazy987
Summary: Bebe loves Wendy, but Wendy doesn't love her back. Bebe's POV through the whole story. Stendy (StanxWendy) One-sided Bendy Style (StanxKyle mentioned) Creek (TweekxCraig break up) Warning- has depression, attentive suicide, self-harm
1. Her

**Bebe's POV**

I look over at them. She came over to talk to me but left to go talk to her boyfriend. Now, they're kissing against his locker. I've seen the way Stan looks at Kyle, and I know that Wendy is oblivious to it.

He likes Kyle not her. I want to tell her, but I know she'll just think that I'm trying to ruin her relationship. It would ruin our friendship, make her hate me, and shatter my heart.

I look away from and into my locker. I wipe the tears from my cheeks, check my makeup, then close my locker and walk to the school exit.

It's like I'm invisible to her ninety percent of the time. I make myself look like I'm okay, but inside I'm just a breaking mess. She believes it, too. I 've tried everything to get her to notice me, but nothing has worked.

I go home and lie in my bed. Staring at my wall, in my dark room. Fantasies of us together running through my head. Me knowing that it will never happen for real, making me more depressed. I'll lie here like this until I fall asleep like I have for weeks.

 _ **~Next day at school~**_

I'm getting my stuff from my locker when Wendy walks up to me, tears streaming down her cheeks and eyes bloodshot.

"Stan broke up with me. He says he love Kyle, instead."


	2. Braking Point

"Okay," I say. I truly don't care anymore. He has broken up with her a ton of time before and it always breaks her heart.

"What is up with you? You've been acting different," she asks while wiping the tears that were rolling down the cheeks.

"I'm tired of trying to get you to notice me, of faking how I feel, but mainly having to act like everything's okay and that I'm happy," I started saying that in a whisper and ended in a shout. I'm staring at my shoes. I can't look at her. I'm showing the real me. Broken. Depressed. Hopeless. Everything she has never seen me as.

"Why do you want me to notice you?"

"Because I love you and all you ever notice is Stan."

I look around to see if anyone else heard and realize we are the only people left in the hallway. I sneak a glance at her and when I see her I know it's a mistake.

"Bebe, I only _liked_ you as a friend," see says putting emphasis on , she turns around and starts walking away without another word.

I feel the tears that I was fighting to keep back start to leak down my face. The further she away she gets the more my heart starts to shatter, and the more tears that stream down my cheeks.

Without thinking I start to run to my house.

 _ **~In her room~**_

"I can do this. I can do this. I can do this," I keep repeating.

When I get enough courage put the knife to my wrist, push down hard on it, and pull it across. Then, I start to feel the blood out of the slight.

 _ **~Time Skip~**_

I've been lying here for what feels like hours. My vision is almost completely black, now. When I hear the door downstairs open, and start to walk up the stairs. I try to see who it is, but my vision is almost all black. My door creaks open and I hear someone gasp then start running towards me.

"Bebe, oh my god. Please don't okay," I hear an angel's voice say just as I'm engulfed by the darkness and pass out.


	3. If It Died

My eyelids feel like they have weights weighing them down. I try to open them, but I can barely move them. When I finally get them open I'm blinded by a white light. I try to open them again and realize this time that it isn't a light it's a white wall. I look around and it looks like I'm in a hospital bed. Then, a nurse walks in from somewhere I don't know.

"It's good you're awake, Bebe. You've been in a comma for a couple of days."

"What happened," I ask in a gravely voice.

"Uh... you tried to take your own life."

"How did I get here?"

"A," she looks at a sheet on a clipboard," Wendy Testaburger brought you, but when we told her that she couldn't see you until you woke up she left. Your parents said it's okay for her to see you now, so when we told her that she could see you she said she's on her way over."

"Oh."

I lay my head on the pillow again, praying that I could just fall asleep and never wake up. I don't want to explain this to anyone. No one would understand. I've been hiding the scars and cuts for months, but none of them I made deep enough to send me to the hospital. I don't want to go through this. I look at the needle in my arm and get an id-

"Bebe! I'm so happy that you're finally awake! " Wendy says, happily, while walking into my room and coming over to hug me. When she does I can't bring myself to hug her back.

"I'm sorry."

"For wh-

" _Because I love you and all you ever notice is Stan."_

 _I look around to see if anyone else heard and realize we are the only people left in the hallway. I sneak a glance at her and when I see her I know it's a mistake._

" _Bebe, I only liked you as a friend," see says putting emphasis on , she turns around and starts walking away without another word._

The memory is like a someone tearing my heart apart and stomping on the pieces. I can't stand seeing her, it just makes the pain worse. I roll onto my side my back to her and try to fall asleep; hoping she'll get that I can't be around her right now and leave, but like everything in my life the cause of my pain stays.

"Look, I'm sorry. I just don't like you that way. We can still be friends, right?"

The more she says the more my heart shatters.I don't know if I'll ever be able to deal with the guilt of doing this to her ever again. I have to protect her by not allowing us to be friends.

"We can't," my hearts to shatter with every word I say, "Now go away."

"Oh...Okay *sniff*," I know that sniff all too well to not be able to tell that she's crying. She'll be fine. She's strong. She'll forget that she ever was friends with me. She'll forget that I exist. She'll find someone she truly loves. She'll get married. She'll have a family. She'll have a happy life. And it doesn't matter if I'm there or not. I've only ever caused her trouble and pain. She shouldn't have to deal with me. Her life would be better if I wasn't in it...just like it would to for everyone else. I'm not even close to the picture perfect daughter that my parents want me to be. I'm just a disappointment to everyone. There and my life would be so much better if it just died.

I pull the bag down for where the nurse put it and put it on the floor. When I see the blood start to go down the tube. When I start to pass out the monitor starts beeping and the nurse comes rushing in. right before I slip completely in unconsciousness I see her pick up the bag and call the other nurses in.

 _ **Time Skip**_

My eyes start to open slightly and as I go to rub them I realize I can't move my wrists. I open my eyes completely and see that they're strapped to the bed so I can't move them. I move my gaze up to where a new IV is and a huge bruise.

I hate whoever just won;t let me die already.


	4. My Demon

"I know you said we can't be friends, but I care about you. Please, Bebe, stop trying to kill yourself."

"Go away, Wendy, I don't want to hear it. You have no idea why I keep trying to and I won't ever tell you and until you know why you won't be able to understand why I keep trying to. Just go away. I'm going to sleep." I hate being mean to her. I know she just wants me to get better, but that'll never happen. I've been feeling like this long enough to know that it just doesn't go away and stay there. It'll go away for a little; just long enough for you to remember what it's like to be happy, but then it comes back and it's worse than before and it won't stop until it destroys you. It always does. It leaves during the day, mostly, then when night comes it comes back full force and turns you into a depressed shell of a person.

The person that you were before will never come back completely. There will always be a part of your happiness that was eaten and will never come back. It will keep coming back until all of it is gone. It's a soul-crushing demon, that will never leave until it has gotten what it wants. And it wants your life, for you to join them in hell to turn more people into them. The more you fight it the more it will back away, but when it comes back it is stronger than it was before. And in the end, it will win.

"Okay, I'll go away," she says in a defeated voice. She's been asking me to stop for hours and every time I would just tell her to go away.

I can't have her find out about everything thing that makes me feel this way. I can't tell even myself. I don't completely know why I do.

I know I'm hurting Wendy and it just makes me feel worse, even though everything I'm doing is to protect her.

When I was younger I always imagined myself meeting the guy of my dream, getting married, and through everything being happy. Now, everything has changed. The love of my life I can't even look at without being upset, I know we'll never even get close to married, and I haven't felt happiness in years. Everything I imagined my life being like is the opposite. I wish I could have that happy, normal, life that my parents and everyone else who knew me thought I was going to have. Life isn't like that, though. It takes what you want and makes it the hardest thing ever. Knowing that you'll give up on it, and everything else until you stop wishing things, knowing that it'll never actually happen.

The only way to learn that is to live through it.I haven't gone through it, though. I'm living in it and I know that the only possibility of me ever being happy again is if I'm not on this earth. I can't get off it while in this hospital, though. I'll have to wait till I get released, but I won't be able to wait that long. Just long enough for them to think that I try again. I've lasted long enough for them to take the cuff off, so the next time can't fail. I have to succeed.


	5. You're Not Alone Anymore

_**~ After she got out of the hospital~**_

I've stayed strong enough to last till now, at least. It just has been getting harder since about a week after I went back to school. When I got back I saw something that made it extremely hard to not try again. The same thing that got me into all of this.

Wendy and Stan. They got back together, but there's something different this time. Kyle is like me. Trying to hide that he's broken and pulling down his sleeve to make sure that no one sees. He's become distant and doesn't talk to anyone. Just like how I was when I started to cut and struggle with even getting out of bed in the morning. Stan doesn't even notice. We're invisible to them again. All they notice is each other. Kyle at least got further than me. He got to date Stan, and I didn't even get an I like you, too. I got a ruined friendship.

Just like I did before I went home to lay in my bed and stare at my ceiling until I fall asleep. This time I can't, though. I'm not the only one who feels this way. There's someone who might understand. Who could be there for me?

I get up and start to walk to his house.

 _ **~In Kyle's room~**_

"Why are you here?"

"Because I know how you feel and have an idea of what you're going through," I say, hoping he doesn't kick me out.

He looks away and his eyes start to water.

"It hurts and I can't stand it," he says in a low voice after a while.

"I know, but you don't have to go through it alone."

"Yes I do, no one is there for me."

"There is someone who's there for you."

"Who!? I lost my best friend my parents and brother hate me. I have no one," he says as a tears start to fall.

"Yes, you do. You have me, now. I won't let you go through this alone and I understand what it is you're going through. We can help each other get through this, together.

He lays his head on my shoulder and I put my arm around him.

"You'll never be alone, as long as I'm here. We can get through this," I whisper into his hair.

"You'll get him back and if you don't fuck 'em," at that he chuckles and sighs.

"I'll try," he says. Then, he closes his eyes and falls asleep.

" _Well, I know the feeling_

 _Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge_

 _And there ain't no healing_

 _From cutting yourself with the jagged edge_

 _I'm telling you that, it's never that bad_

 _Take it from someone who's been where you're at_

 _Laid out on the floor_

 _And you're not sure you can take this anymore_

 _So just give it one more try to a lullaby_

 _And turn this up on the radio_

 _If you can hear me now_

 _I'm reaching out_

 _To let you know that you're not alone_ ," I sing to him while rubbing circles on his back.

"And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Please let me take you

Out of the darkness and into the light

'Cause I have faith in you

That you're gonna make it through another night

Stop thinking about the easy way out

There's no need to go and blow the candle out

Because you're not done

You're far too young

And the best is yet to come

So just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Well, everybody's hit the bottom

Everybody's been forgotten

When everybody's tired of being alone

Yeah, everybody's been abandoned

And left a little empty handed

So if you're out there barely hanging on...

Just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone," I quit singing as I shut his door and start to walk home.

My mom always used to sing that to me when I was younger and sad. Now, my parents don't even acknowledge that I exist, at least in a positive way.

On my way home I put in my earbuds in. When the song Scars by Allison Iraheta comes on I inwardly agree with it and start singing along to it. When the song Would It Matter by Skillet comes on my mood goes back to how it was before I went to his house. When I finally reach my house I go up to my room and get two of my three only friends out of my dresser. My knife and my razor blade. I look at them and when I decide I put the knife back.

I sit down on my floor, flipping the razor between my fingers. I put it down, pull up my sleeve, pick up the razor again, and start to slide it across my wrist while starting to cry. I've missed the wave of comfort that comes after. It makes me forget for a minute; forget why I'm depressed and just focusing on the stinging sensation on my wrist. When it starts to fade, though, I remember why I'm feeling and doing this and everything I felt before comes back to me.

I at least know one thing that will stay in my life. I'll always know a way to forget and will always at least have two friends, but when I get a lighter I'll have three. They say burning yourself has the same effect as cutting.

* * *

The song that Bebe sings to Kyle is Lullaby by Nickleback. I don't know if I should make Wendy fall for Bebe, or/and if I should make Kyle and Stan get back together. Please review and tell me which one (or both) that I should write.


	6. The Boy In Blue

I woke to my phone buzzing and a sharp stinging sensation in my arm.

 **From** _ **Kyle**_

 _ **I was wondering if you wanted to walk to school together?**_

 **To** _ **Kyle**_

 _ **Sure, I'll be ready by the time you get here.**_

I get dressed, then start to put my coat on when I remember my arm. I hurry upstairs to bandage up my arm. On my way back downstairs I hear the doorbell and hurry to put on my jacket and get my stuff.

"Hey," I say opening the door.

"Hey," he says as we start the walk to school.

After about three minutes of walking in silence, I ask," Why didn't you ride the bus?"

"I know I can't, but I want to try to avoid Stan for the day. Not like he would even notice if I was there, anyway. *sigh*"

"So is it just a one-day thing, or are you going to do it every day?"

"I don't know, yet, but probably every day."

We walk the rest of the way in a somewhat awkward silence. Maybe I should have said something. No, I probably would just fuck up our friendship. We walk into the school and the first thing we can see is Wendy pushed up against a locker, by Stan. It looks like they're trying to eat each other faces off.

I look over at the redhead and see the pain behind the charade of him acting happy. I have to get us away from here before we both turn into a walking form of depression. I grab his arm and walk as fast as I can to my locker. When I look at him I see the tears he's fighting to not let escape. I give him a tight hug and he starts to cry on my shoulder.

"It'll be okay," I say trying to calm him down. I think the word failing would actually be better than trying since it's not doing anything. I'm not good at comforting people, probably because nobody has comforted me since I was about five; It started because my parents put me in charge of my two-year-old cousin when we went swimming and my parents put me in charge of making sure she was okay, but I got distracted by some other girls and she...drowned. After that, my family never trusted me with anything, everyone gave up on me, they started to hate me, and no one cared about me.

Most people would think that I would hate Kyle for being depressed about a breakup, but I don't. Stan was his best friends, the love of his life, and the one person who was always there for him no matter what, so when he lost him he had no one and his entire life came crashing down on him. I get why he feels like he does.

"Thank you, Bebe," he says as he pulls away.

"It's no problem."

I get my stuff and we start to walk to his. When we get there we see a heartbreaking sight. Tweek and Craig have been dating and the perfect couple for almost a year, but now they're now...not.

"Uh...um, I think we should break up," Tweek says.

"Why?"

"You don't trust me enough to tell me what's happening and why you always look like you just got the shit beat out of you. I asked my parents what I should do and they said that the best thing to do is if I can't get you to tell me is to end it. That was weeks ago and I've been trying to get you to tell me, but you didn't...soo," Tweek says while crying.

"Okay."

After hearing that Tweek walks away, and Craig slides down his closed locker; he wraps his arms around his legs and puts his head on them, obviously crying or a least trying not to. I look at Kyle and we both make a silent decision to, at least try to, comfort Craig.

"Craig...are you okay," Kyle says, while kneeling down next to him.

He looks over to see who it is and his eyes are puffy and red. He rests his head on his knees again, and not wanting us to see him cry.

"I'm fine. Now go away."

"Craig, we know you're not," I say.

"Why do you even care?"

"Cause we know what it feels like to be broken up with," Kyle says.

"How?"

"Well...I had Stan break up with me."

"And, I was rejected by Wendy, so are you gonna talk about it or are you gonna be miserable all by yourself?"

"We already why, though," Kyle says.

"I didn't want him to worry about me," he says lifting his head and wiping his eyes. When we give him a look that says to continue he does, "I can trust you two not to tell anyone about this, right," we nod, " My dad is a cheating, alcoholic, abusing, ass whole. That's always why I look like I just got the shit beat out of me. He also hits my mom when she tries to get him to stop, but then he always just goes back to me. I have to, though, cause I have to make sure he doesn't hurt Ruby."

"Can we know why he beats you?"

"Because he's homophobic and I'm gay," the boy in blue says, closing his eyes and resting his head on the locker.

"So, what fucking problems do you two have," Craig asks.

Me and Kyle look at each other to see what one is going first and I decide I am.

"Well...my family hates me since they were stupid enough to put a five-year-old in charge of making sure my two-year-old cousin didn't get hurt. Also, I got rejected by Wendy and pushed her away, so I lost my best friend. I also have depression and self-harm…," I say sitting across from the two. They both just look at me confused.

"How did you being put in charge of your cousin the reason they hate you," the redhead asks.

"Um... we were swimming are I got distracted by some other kids. When my parents came and asked where she was I realized I hadn't seen her come out of the water for a while, so they went searching for her and found her body at the bottom of the lake the next day. She had drowned and it was all my fault."

There's awkward silence until Kyle says, " Well...Stan broke up with me, so I lost my best friend. My parents are always disappointed with me. They want me to get straight A's, they hate that I'm bi, and to be completely honest the first person in years to actually care enough to ask if I was okay was Bebe so that just shows how no one cares about me. Also, like Bebe I have depression and self-harm."

"I have depression, but don't self-harm," the raven stated.

 _ **~Lunch~**_

I sit down at the table I always do, and like usual I'm alone. I play with my food until someone sits across from me. I look up to see Kyle, and then Craig sits beside me.

"What are you two doing here," I question, completely confused.

"I have no one to sit with, and I wanna sit with my friend," says Kyle.

"I also have no one else to sit with, would rather sit with people who I can actually talk to, and you two are the closest things I have to friends," Craig says.

I give them a small smile. "Oh well...I count you two as my friends, too," pause, "so are we like a group now?"

"I guess so," the redhead says and the rave just nods.

For the first time in forever, I'm in a group that actually cares about me, and that I have something in common with.


	7. But They're Not Together Anymore

I thought being in a group would make me happy and make is so I have people who look out for each other, but it's not like that. I look out for them and am always there for them, but they're not there for me. Just like before, I'm alone.

I got a new friend that I haven't gotten to know yet. A lighter. I want to, though, so I guess I should.

I walk over to my dresser where my other friends live. I get the one I don't know very well out and her partner. I named them too. The lighter is named after me and the stick is named Wendy 'cause the only one out of the two that will be causing harm is the stick. The lighter just is the reason it can do the harm.

I light the stick on fire, showing when I showed my real feelings, but it get disregarded and the light is blown out. I push the red-hot coal to my wrist, feeling the pain I did when I was rejected.

I start to light it again, but my phone starts to ring. It's Craig.

"Hey, what's up," I ask trying to be cool so he'll like me, but just like everything else I fail.

"I wanted to know if you want to stay over my house."

"Uh... I don't know…."

"Okay…, but if you do come you know where I live. Oh, and Kyle's would also be staying over."

"Okay, bye."

Oh. My. Fucking. God. Why do I have to be so god damn awkward? Like it was a simple question and I have to make it weird. It would be so weird if I go now, but I don't want them to think that I don't want to hang out.

Fuck it, I'm going. I get up, throw some clothes in a bag, and start to walk to Craig's.

 _ **~In Craig's room~**_

It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be when I got here. They were playing video games, but when I walked in Kyle got up and hugged me.

"I'm happy that you decided to actually come," Kyle said, while Craig just sat there and said, "Hey."

Now, Craig's still playing some game, and me and Kyle are just talking.

"Did you hear that Stan and Wendy broke up again?"

"Yeah, why," I lie, so it seems that I actually know gossip.

"'Cause now I might be able to get Stan back and maybe you can, finally, get Wendy!"

"She won't date me I already know i-"

I'm interrupted by the sound of Craig's door bashing off of the wall.

"Craig I need your help with something downstairs," Craig's dad says to him. Me and Kyle look over at him and he's the same as always, monotone, but if you look in his eyes you tell that he's completely horrified. "Now," he says through a clenched jaw and a look in his eyes that makes him look like when they get downstairs he might accidentally beat Craig to death for not coming when told.

When Craig gets up and goes downstairs, me and Kyle look at each other silently asking what we should do, when I remember what he said about his mom and sister. I run over to his window and notice that his mom's car isn't here. Shit!

"We should go see if his sister's here," I tell Kyle and he just nods in agreement. We walk over to the door we're guessing is hers, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I open the door just enough to see if she's in there. There's a girl with strawberry-blond hair that's in pigtails and wearing a teal shirt crying on her bed.

"Ruby," I whisper just loud enough to get her attention.

Her head instantly looks over to the door, "who are you?"

"I'm Bebe; I'm a friend of your brother well...at least I think I am," I say as I start to walk in Kyle following me. "And this is one of his others, Kyle," pause, " are you okay?"

"Did Craig tell you?" I think she's talking about the abuse, so I nod. "Well...my dad found out that he's dating Tweek, and it made him, really, mad...he got it bad before because he's gay, but a boyfriend…" she trails off and I look at Kyle and he's just like me. Worried.

"But they're not together anymore," Kyle says and she looks at us.

"That doesn't matter. It's the fact that he was dating a boy," she says as she starts to cry more.

"Do you wanna come back to his room with us?" She nods, so we cautiously walk back to his room.

When we get there I ask her, "is there anything we could do?"

"No, if you try to help he'll just get it worse when you two leave," she says starting to cry heavily again. I hug her and rub circles on her back while she cries on my shoulder. When we hear something that sounds like someone crawling up the stairs we all look at the door. We all gasp when Craig walks in covered in blood and limping. He falls to his knees, Ruby running over to him.

* * *

Btw I will most likely make the next chapter about Stan and Kyles relationship and how Stan is trying to win Kyle back.


	8. Stan

I don't know how but Craig looks like nothing happened. No cuts. No bruises. Nothing!

Anyway, Stan started talking to Kyle...again. He's begging for him back. Kyle won't go back to him. He thinks he'll just leave him for Wendy...again. He won't even be his friend cause he doesn't want him to ignore him and have to go through all that again when he gets back with Wendy.

Since Kyle Now hangs out with me, I have to hear it.

"Please, Kyle. I know I acted like a dick, but pleeease take me back. I'll even be happy if it's just as a friend...I...I just need you back in some way."

"No, Stan. I'm not gonna change my mind. You don't know everything I went through and I don't want to go through it again, so just go away and don't bother me."

Stan walks away head down and clearly disappointed. Kyle, on the other hand, looks like he's going to punch his locker, he's so pissed.

"Kyle...I get why you don't take him back, but he's been like this for two days. Do you have a plan to at least get him to stop?"

"No...I know Stan well enough to know that when he wants something he won't stop trying to get it until he does. Bebe...what should I do?"

"Give him a chance. Be his friend, just his friend, nothing more. He would quit bothering and annoying you."

"Okay."

"Did Craig tell you about his plan to get Tweek back?"

"No, what is it?"

"He's going to tell him about his dad, and explain why he didn't tell him...I hope it works they're, like, goals. They're too perfect to be broken up," I say, Kyle chuckles. There are some things that have stayed the same, from when I was younger, like, how I'm still a fangirl. I just don't show it, well, unless I'm friends with you and you mention my otp.

"I don't know if that'll work or not."

"I hope it does."

 _ **~Time Skip~**_

So Tweek did understand why he didn't tell him and agreed to give Craig a second chance. Surprisingly, Craig still talks and hangs out with us, also Tweek does. Kyle talked to Stan and said that they could be friends, which Stan got all happy about having his super best friend back; to say the least he was really, really, really upset when he said just as a friends and not even best friends 'cause I guess I'm Kyles best friends, so since then whenever Stan sees me it's like he's trying to kill me with a look.

I just really hope this stays like this and doesn't go back to the ways it used to be, but knowing life it always has a way to fuck everything up.


End file.
